Construction Jokes, Are There Actually Any Good Ones?

about 2 years ago by

I have spent some time looking through the Internet to find some funny construction jokes, now I have found loads of jokes but the problem is none of them seem to be funny!

So here five examples of construction jokes that I found on the internet, let’s see what you think.  


Joke One

A construction consultant dies in a fishing accident on his 40th birthday and finds himself greeted at the Pearly Gates by a brass band.

Saint Peter runs over, shakes his hand and says “Congratulations!”

“Congratulations for what?” asks the contractor

Saint Peter says, “We are celebrating the fact that you lived to be 160 years old.”

“But that’s not true,” says the consultant. “I only lived to be forty.”

“That’s impossible,” says Saint Peter, “we added up your time sheets!”

Joke Two

Two blonde carpenters were working on a house. The one who was nailing down the timber would reach into his nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over his shoulder or nail it in.

The other, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, “Why are you throwing those nails away?”

The first explained, “If I pull a nail out of my pouch and it’s pointed toward me, I throw it away ’cause it’s defective. If it’s pointed toward the house, then I nail it in!”

The second blonde got completely upset and yelled, “You moron! The nails pointed toward you aren’t defective! They’re for the other side of the house!”

Joke Three

What did the Mechanical Engineer do when he saw an air conditioning pipe flying towards him?


Joke Four

Why are brick walls very difficult to give directions to?

Because they always need re-pointing.

Joke Five

What did the building say when a broken window fell on him?

It was a bit of a pane.

So from that I think we can all see that currently all the construction jokes on the internet are terrible. I have decided this due to those 5 ‘’jokes’’ being the best I could find!

Do you know any better construction related jokes?

Related jobs